Adventurer Conqueror King or Die!

Claw, Claw, Bite ... Cleave


Goraj become famous wherever he go. This town already knows his awesomeness and every time he goes to tavern the good villagers buy him beer and get him drunk. None want to fight with Gorajbut they are softy farmer types and no good for fighting anyways.

Cleric come to Goraj because he hear that Goraj awesome goblin smasher even though he never go to tavern. Cleric say he have goblin problem in basement. Goblins like rats so Goraj go and fix problem. Also, Goraj friend James need plate mail. He want to be brave like Goraj and know that best offense is a good defense. No goblins touch Goraj in his plate mail. Everywhere we go Goraj ask about plate mail. Goraj try to be diplomatical like talky man but no one have plate mail.

When we go to cleric house he take us downstairs. There we find supplies and such plus haphazardly stacked crates. Goraj not quite sure what “haphazardly stacked” mean but talky man quite certain, so Goraj go and unhapazard them. Behind we find goblin hole leading to sewer. Goblins like stink so we wait and in hour or so five come sloshing through sewer.

Goraj try to grab one for question asking but goblin slippery with poop and Goraj miss. Then talky man throw fireball and kill four goblins. Goraj disappointed but not want to burn so wait. Then Goraj grab surviving goblin and talky man start crapping goblin words out his talk hole. Goblin words sound bad. Goblin say many more goblins live near and take turns pooping in town’s clean water, so we go next day to thump them.

First we find cart with human prisoner. Goraj charge the cart and smash many goblins. They bleed a lot and cry but Goraj mad and hung over from party with scaredy villagers.

Then we find tunnel to Goblin hidey holes. Many rooms and halls and Goraj get border but every room have goblins and Goraj go psycho in each and come out with goblin heads. Vesper mad necklace with ears after cart debacle so village man would give gold. Goraj forgot but will go back through rooms collecting ears next time.

Two rooms had sleeping goblins. Goraj like fighting waked ones but goblins take too long to wake up and get armor on and even when they do they too easy to smash, so Goraj just carve a bloody swath of carnage through their barracks. Stupid goblins should have posted a sentry.

Oh, and there was skeleton warrior / lich thing in temple so Goraj smash it, but it actually just dead guy. Oh well.

Then there was a room full of coffins and more goblins came. Goraj smash them too. Cleaving fun.

Now we headed into rest of goblin place. Hope there’s something tougher than goblins in there. They fun to smash but not so satisfying. Maybe Goraj let them take free shot from now on. More sportsmanlike.



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